Aside from being a paranoid, I am also good at hiding my feelings until I would burst them all out in one day and cry...
You see, I admit...really, that I have been so bitter to this person. Like I've been insisting that my Bibi is still attached to this goddess, since he is always defensive when I link the goddess to our conversation. I've been really observing Bibi since the day we started to date... He acts very strange--uncomfortable to be exact whenever that goddess is near or at sight. As I have said, I am good at hiding, so I kept my excruciating agony on my nose... I attempted to let my attention change and act normally, unfortunately, something has changed in me.
Whenever we had a date, I usually make "tunganga" and act so strange. He asks me why, and I would say, OH NOTHING! it's just my nature. But the truth is, my mind is creating scenes. Scenes like Bibi and goddess are together, very happy like theres no fucking tomorrow. Of course that would torn my heart apart.
I am really weak at telling my real feelings in front of Bibi, because somehow, I have doubts that he loves me or not... I always think that he still in love with the goddess, where in fact, they were the original LOVE TEAM in their own world-- aside from goddess had a boyfriend even before.
I had also nightmares that the two of them are seeing each other since the day that bibi attempted to accompany goddess and have a date with her, I guess. Well, I would be still happy if Bibi will tell the truth that he still loves/like or whatever their links with goddess. That would be the most honest thing that I would be receiving in my entire 17 years of living.
BUT of course, if that happens, I wont think Twice.
<3 ANNE
