Haters Gonna Hate

Meron akong hater. Ang pangalan niya ay Keith Alcaraz. Isang dating Nursing student ng Divine Word College of Laoag at nagtransfer sa MMSU and currently taking BS Pharmacy.

I don't know her personally. Napansin ko lang siya nung 4th year na ako.

She was one of my bestfriend's past time chix. 

Pero, nung tinanong ko si JR, sabi niya, hindi niya chix. Nahihiya daw kasing umamin kasi alam niyang pagtatawanan ko siya. Ang bilin ko kasi sa kanya, mag chix siya kung mas maganda sa akin. 

But anyways, she's pretty naman din.

And the story started when she became so clingy with my bestfriend. Tapos sabi ng bestfriend ko, sinabi ko sa kanya na wala akong balak makipag girlfriend.

So sabi ko, ah okay. 

Then I became so jealous because he was always with her, feeling ko tuloy pinagpapalit na niya ako sa kanya. I also caught JR na sinamahan niya sa sine si Keith to watch a movie, eh napanood na namin. Sabi naman niya, napilitan lang siya. Okay fine. Whatever. But you see, it all started when JR and I started to have mutual feelings. As bestfriends, we were very comfortable with each other, until we ended up feeling different. Like we loved each other more than best friends.

Eto namang si Keith, nag emote na. Kung ano ba daw sila ni JR. Sabi naman ni JR, there's no US. Nag assume ang ate niyo. Kaya na Hurt. In add niya ako sa FB at nagstalk pala ang ate niyo.

Bigla siyang nagtweet...

"bigbigat isut nakitak nasakit met a"

"Baby kanu ne"

"Sige upload pa"

"Magbestfriends nga ba?"

Deadma lang naman ako, chix lang naman siya.

Hahaha! 

And then, there was a time na tinigilan na ni JR na itxt siya.

Tapos may friend si keith na nag post sa fb. 

Patama post. Eto oh.

Napaka obvious na kami to.

And then, hinayaan ko lang yan.

Few months later.

May nag sabi sa akin na classmate ni Keith na pinag-uusapan daw nila ako sa room nila. Syempre, gulat naman ako. I don't even know them. Hate daw nila ako kasi daw linandi ko yung love niya. Ala? Ana ngarud mabalin nu dakam talaga for each other, ken in the first place, napagsabihan naman si Keith na there is nothing, as in walang label yung kung anong meron sila ni JR. 

Tapos ayun, nagmessage ako kay Keith sa twitter, using JR's account because naka block na ako sa twitter and facebook niya.

Hindi siya sumagot. Blinock din niya si JR at eto ang ginawa niya.

So, hinayaan ko na lang. Di ko naman siya mareach. Taas kasi ng level! 

And then, tinext ko siya. 

And then....

...and inadd ko kasi her friends, pero isa lang ang nag accept. 

And then on June 11,2014 JR and I went to Paoay to have lunch. And then we dropped by at CHS because he was going to give Jay's loomband.

Tapos bigla siyang nagtweet!!

...and one of her friends apparently posted something again. With my initials as her hashtag.

Medyo naging bitch na ako jan.

And then, super pissed na talaga ako, so I posted gila monster ni K Alc. 

Hahahahaha! But dinelete ko agad kasi nagalit si JR. baka daw awayin ako.

Ayun nga, inaway ako. Pero patama lang. 

Eto oh . Sinend lang ng friend ko ang mga to kasi nga nakablock ako sa fb ni Keith. Basta lahat ng galing sa fb na post niya, sinend lang nila sa akin. Nakakatouch

I became angry dahil sa comment ni Maryrose.

So, i decided to post their conversations on my facebook.

So, it became a trending story in their class according to a Friend of mine.

They said daw na ako ang nauna.

I'm trying to figure out kung ano ang ginawa ko sa kanila. 

I cannot remember anything.

And then, sabi ng mga former classmates ni Keith sa divine,  talagang gumagawa siya ng gulo kapag lalake ang usapan. They even told me the reason why Keith transferred to MMSU. I will not mention na lang why because she might get angry with me. HAHAHA

You know, I am aware that what am I doing is cheap. But insulting me and JR on our backs is a different story. If Keith's problem is that JR and I started dating, what the hell?! 

I know that a lot of people started labeling me as warfreak. Its alright. I'm doing this because I have the right to defend myself.

And since some of the people involved there are my facebook friends, I tried sending them a message.

The first one is to Stef Orcino.

I DID NOT POST EVERYTHING BECAUSE MADAMI. 

And I have the right to post this kasi sabi ni Ms Orcino okay lang na ipost.

Here's my proof

Wala akong alam talaga na atraso ko sa kanya. 

Ang alam ko lang ay yung eto

I am doing this kasi gudto ko na sagutin niya ako directly. Hindi yung puro patama. Gaya na naman neto.

The people in the photos started harrasing us.

This is not a revenge, I am just telling the whole story.

Sawa na nga ako magpapansin eh para lang kausapin ako ni Keith ng deretsahan. Hindi yung puro patama at iiwas ng tingin pag nakakasalubong ko siya.

And anyway, baka sabihin niyo na wala namang namention na name sa mga posts niya, Obvious kasi na ako yan. Sabi nga ng mga kakilala niya, mahilig talaga siya magpatama.

I also remember one time, nung birthday ko. Intudo nak kano tay friend na kuna tay friend ko. Diko kasi nakita. Baka pag nakita ko, kinaladkad ko na. JOKE. hahahaha.

I did this because I cannot take her action of lagi na lang nagpapatama eh nagdirect message na ako sa kanya. Why not mag message na lang din sa akin nung nag send ako sa kanya sa twitter. Bakit siya magdedeny eh ang daming nakarinig.

Meron pang isa pala, si Tanya Ponce. Naglalakad daw siya sa catwalk, nakita niya kami ni JR. she said "magkasama na naman sila, nakakainis"

She didn't even realized na close friend ko yung kasabay niyang naglalakad.

I sent her a message on facebook pero na seenzoned ako.

Meron din palang tweet si Theresa Reyes. Diko na naprint screen kasi dinelete niya. Basta sabi niya, nahumaling daw si JR sa braces ko. LIKE WTH?! HAHAHAHAHAHAAH

Okay bye. Pag may naalala ako, update ko tong blog na to. Balikan niyo na lang. Hehehe

Paligid

Ang mundong aking ginagalawan ay puno ng hiwaga. Hindi ko mawari kung ano ar kung sino ang totoo. Hindi ko alam kung pati ako ay totoo o ako na lang ba'y isang ligaw na kaluluwa...

Minamasdan ko ang paligid. Malamig, basa at walang sigla. At dahan-dahan akong napadpad sa isang sulok at muli kong nakita ang mga bagay na paulit-ulot na nagbibigay sa akin ng hinanakit.

Hindi ko lubusang matanggap ang isang bagay lalo na kung ito'y hindi kaaya-aya sa aking paningin. Kahit anong pilit ko pa itong iwasan at kalimutan, ang sakit nito'y nag-uumapaw at patuloy nitong sinasaksak ang aking puso.

Malupit nga ang panahon sa akin... siguro'y wala talaga akong karapatang maging masaya.

Sana nga lang ay dumating ang araw na paggising ko sa umaga'y mawala na lahat ang hinanakit sa aking dibdib...at nang magpatuloy ang aking nasimulang paglalakbay sa mundong alam kong Ko'y magiging masaya.

Pain Killers

It feels like I'm being stabbed slowly with a very sharp knife in my chest. It hurts, I can hardly breathe. I tried to ignore the pain, but it became more painful. I have no one to talk to. And guess what, I think I just lost my bestfriend. 

I know he hates me because I am selfish. I tried apologizing but it didn't work.

And all day, I only got cold shoulders from him.

It hurts. 

I know he's hurting too... but he's vocal. So the pain can easily wear off.

Now, I'm still awake, trying to figure out what will I do.

I want to cry. But I can't.

I want to breathe freely but my chest are tightening. 

I want to eat because I'm terribly hungry, but I can't...becuase it's 12:07 midnight.

I told myself, I should sleep now...but I really can't.

I'm in so much pain.

So much pain... 

I Prayed... It helped me. But when I go through the messages we had... It still hurts. It was colder than ice... Drier than drought... I cannot take this anymore.

My heart struggles so hard. No I am not exaggerating. 

It hurts... 

When it Rains...

My airways are narrowed. I cannot breathe. Hypochondriasis? I don't know. Maybe? 

Well, it started raining and I have hormonal imbalance.

I am depressed. I want to cry. I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm hungry but I don't want to eat.

Too much House M.D. is causing me to diagspnose myself. Hahaha! 

Right now, I am feeling like I have PTSD... i'm having flashbacks.

Okay fine, I'm sad.

Bye.