The cold wind brushed against my face. I had goosebumps, despite the clothing I wore.
He was there...
I was happy.
In fact, I am ecstatic. My heart was pounding so fast...but I was poker-faced-bitch, I did not display an ecstatic emotion because he might not want to see me happy.
I am afraid to show happiness around him, because he might feel uncomfortable. Because I always think that he is not happy with me anymore.
Call me negative, but that is what I feel...because that is what he makes me feel.
But you see, behind all my negativity, I still have hope.
There is still a ray of light that keeps me going... That keeps me from pushing on what I want to achieve, because I Love him.
...because love is patient and love is kind.
I was standing right there, looking at his face...listening to him...watching him move...
I closed my eyes when he kissed my forehead and hugged me close to him.
I felt warmth...but I know, all those things are temporary.
He is still cold...not too much...but still cold.
and it hurts.
When you try so hard to put the pieces together, but still they take the pieces away over and over again.
I am not tired...I am just disappointed that pride is stronger than love.
And Love seemed like never existed in his part.
That the only thing that matters now is the Pride.
I have burried almost half of my ego and almost burried half of my sanity because of wanting and needing to prove and fix what I have broken...
But I guess, I need to be burried six feet below the ground before I could attain it.
Loving can hurt us...as told by Ed.
But Loving can make us sane, insane...loving make all things possible...because Love is all about love...
God is Love...
And I love him...to the depth and breadth and height...
...even if you (don't) love me anymore (?) and cannot forgive me for all the things I have done...
I will always love you no matter what...even it hurts a million more than what I am feeling at the moment...it's okay, because it's you... That is how much I love you.
