Pain Killers

It feels like I'm being stabbed slowly with a very sharp knife in my chest. It hurts, I can hardly breathe. I tried to ignore the pain, but it became more painful. I have no one to talk to. And guess what, I think I just lost my bestfriend. 

I know he hates me because I am selfish. I tried apologizing but it didn't work.

And all day, I only got cold shoulders from him.

It hurts. 

I know he's hurting too... but he's vocal. So the pain can easily wear off.

Now, I'm still awake, trying to figure out what will I do.

I want to cry. But I can't.

I want to breathe freely but my chest are tightening. 

I want to eat because I'm terribly hungry, but I can't...becuase it's 12:07 midnight.

I told myself, I should sleep now...but I really can't.

I'm in so much pain.

So much pain... 

I Prayed... It helped me. But when I go through the messages we had... It still hurts. It was colder than ice... Drier than drought... I cannot take this anymore.

My heart struggles so hard. No I am not exaggerating. 

It hurts...