I don't know how to redeem myself from all the things I've done... I know apologizing wouldn't be enough...but I'm trying to get the things back in shape the way they used to. I suddenly realized that this is a blog, not a personal letter... But I don't care, I don't have a lot of readers anyway.
One year of being in a relationship with Jay-ar is one of the best things that happened in my life. I got a bestfriend and boyfriend at the same time. It's really good when you have established friendship first before entering into a relationship.
Let me tell you how lucky I am to have Jay-ar in my life...
1. He farts in front of me and he is not ashamed of it
2. He tells me that he wants to poo, and he's not denying it
3. He comes at my house whenever he's done early at class and brings me food!
4. He ALWAYS kisses my forehead when he sees me.
5. He stares at me and smiles widely and tells me that I am beautiful.
6. He never fails to surprise me
7. He holds my hand in public
8. Hugs me in public
9. Grab my waist in public
10. Stares the people who stares at me ( HAHAHAA GANDA KO NO?!)
11. Bring me to movies and sometimes, it's okay to him that I fall asleep ( SOMETIMES)
12. Finds time for me even if he's too busy and I know i've been so hard on him but he always makes it up to me
13. Loves me so much even when I look ugly, fat, full of acne or whatever
14. And all the good things a guy could ever posses.
And I forgot, he's VAIN. HE LOVES TO TAKE SELFIES!!!!!
Well those are just some of the things why I am lucky.
Now, let me tell you about our first anniversary.
We celebrated at their house. I thought it was just an ordinary day.
Of course I made something for him...
I baked cupcakes!
I also bought him a gym bag which he has been eyeing for weeks.
But I knew by then that he knows what I am giving him.
Yup, I also bought a heart-shaped foil balloon.
My heart was melting when I saw his face. I wanted to cry! I was so happy.
And then, when Dan, Jay-ar and I went downstairs, there were tons of foods in the dining area, and all of his relatives were there.
Her mom told me that the feast was his surprise for me.
I was speechless...dumbfounded really, because I recognized those foods were the ones we bought in the grocery, and he made me believe that it was for her cousin's despedida party.
And then I lost him... He was nowhwere to be found...
...and there he is, holding a beautiful bouquet of roses. I blushed, felt shy for the first time, despite he has given me 7 bouquets...
I felt beautiful and loved...and most of all SPECIAL, because he did all of these in front of his relatives.
I really couldn't ask for more.
The food was so good, i thought I ate beyond what my stomach's capacity. Lol
We wnent upstairs...and in his bed, there's a nike shoe...
I looked at him in disbelief... He said it's mine... I opened it, it is really mine!!!
I wanted to cry because I want this so bad.
At the end of the day he told me that he's sorry that it wasn't a romantic candle light dinner...
I said, DUH?! Are you nuts, this is perfect! This way better than candle light dinner, it looks selfish because we're the only one who's eating.
It's my first time, well, OUR first time to have an anniversary like this. A real anniversary.
I will treasure this forever... Kahit maraming mga bitter na nagsasabing walang forever. Ha!
I thank God for everything...for giving me the love of my life...
I hope that we have more journeys to come... challenges to face and overcome it over and ove again.
I love you so much Jay-ar! Happy Anniversary and I'm sorry for all the things that caused you pain. I hope and pray that we bring back what has been lost... I love you!
-Anne
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