When it hurts too much

He is still cold...and he's aware of it.

I cried a million times in front of him, and told him that its hurting me so much.

He watched me cry... and I thought he can endure watching me cry...and I thought he didn't care anymore. I cried harder because of the thought of it.

It hurts. 

...and he asked me to stop because he said he's going to start crying too... He's eyes were watering...

and I tried to stop... and he brushed my face with his hands and he told me he loves me.

I didn't know where it came from... I am confused... Did it came from his heart or it came out from his pity.

I didn't know, but it made me felt okay for a while.

I miss  everything about him.

And I am afraid to lose him.

The pain I am having right now is like the pain never went away since the day he ignored my existence in his life. 

It hurts...